Why Do Children Bully?

I remember dating back to five years old, returning to school after a tragic scooter accident…

I obtained a head injury and it left an abnormal looking scar on my forehead. Things were never the same afterwards… I developed this hard and isolated shell because of being labeled as different from my other classmates. Kids would call me mean names, laugh and point fingers as I walked down the halls and sat in class. Throughout my grade school experience, I found myself being bullied and being on the other side, bullying others due to my own insecurities.

Having those experiences and looking back on my journey

I believe there are many reasons children bully others. Bullying can be created by having strained home lives, not getting enough attention at home, or from having other family issues such as divorce. Children who come from abusive homes or whose parents use violence to solve problems also may bully others. The most commonly thought of reason children bully is because they have low self-esteem or a poor self-image, but many times bullies are confident and popular and pick on children who are smaller and unpopular.


Children may also bully because they witness violence at home or don’t know any other way to deal with stress. If children aren’t taught the proper way to solve problems, they may resort to violence and bullying.

Bullying is a serious issue that can have serious consequences and should be treated as such.

Other reasons children bully is to compensate for their own problems, to gain a feeling of power, or to make themselves feel better. They turn to bullying to solve these problems because it seems like the best way.

Being mean spirited or emotionally unstable are also reasons some children bully because it’s enjoyable to them. They may find happiness in the misery of others. If they have learning problems, poor social skills, or problems fitting in they may also bully others to make themselves feel better about their own social situation. 

Sometimes the reason children bully is because they are being picked on themselves and they will retaliate by bullying others. This is one way that the cycle continues and those children who would not normally bully start to do so.

No reason merits bullying…

However, some children don’t know any other way to deal with their problems. The most important thing to remember when dealing with a child that bullies is that their motive may be different from the norm and the underlying problem must be resolved to stop the bullying cycle. The reason children bully is the key to stopping them. If your child is a bully, make sure you identify exactly why they feel as though they should resort to that behavior.

Solving the underlying problem…

This will give the relief from the problems they need without having to resort to intimidating others.

Give your child positive ways to deal with their problems and stress so they don’t have to use bullying. Children who are stopped quickly are much less likely to suffer from long term effects of bullying. Stopping bullying is important not only for the victims but for the bullies themselves. Children who bully often have problems later in life and end up committing crimes and continuing their cycle of aggression.

Stopping a bully while they are young and making them realize the consequences of their actions is important to prevent future trouble.

No matter why a child bullies, they should be made aware that it is not acceptable and given better ways to cope with their problems. Make sure you take the time to address the problem causing the behavior so that it doesn’t continue. 


I hope you enjoyed the article. Please check out my new book, Live, Learn and Lead Powerfully: A Teen Leadership Guide. Also, I would also love to speak at your next event, check out the programs I have to offer!

Keep those crowns on your HEARTS…and lastly, always remember tomorrow is yours to create, and don’t limit yourself.

Chaz Jackson Blog banner on gray teens jumping for joy


Leave a Comment